Virgin On Insanity

Flight back to London from Cape Town

I flew back to Cape Town from Livingstone via Johannesburg.  I checked back into the Road Lodge opposite the airport and the next evening arrived at the terminal for my Virgin Atlantic flight to London.  I initially made sure that I got all the VAT money back for the goods that I had purchased.  The VAT there is 14%.  The VAT office is on the 2nd floor of the departures building, to the left under the escalators.

At the boarding gate they announced that there was a minor delay so I continued doing last minute shopping in the duty free shops.  Then they announced that the delay was going to be some time so everyone was starting to get a bit restless.  Finally, Virgin Atlantic said that the flight was being cancelled due to a technical problem.  They didn't tell us what the problem was at the time but we found out later on the next flight back that the technical problem was with a part that monitors fuel consumption and lets the cockpit know.

After another hour of confusion and chaos, without any information being given by the ground staff, we were hoarded onto 5 coaches which transported all 300 of us to a 4 star hotel in downtown Cape Town called The Southern Sun.  We all had to line up before reception and it took a good half an hour to be given a room, but by 1am everyone was in their rooms.  My room was large and luxurious and the bed was very big and comfortable, with a down duvet and pillows.  The next day, the complimentary breakfast was a lavish spread of all kinds of buffet food from fruit, to cheese, to salmon, to full English breakfast, cereals, juices, etc.  You could have exploded just on the breakfast.  Lunch was a nice buffet of chicken, beef, and seafood, with salads, and desserts.

There had developed a Dunkirk spirit amongst the passengers with everyone chatting away and having small banter.  It was very impressive to see that everyone, including children and the elderly were so well behaved and patient throughout.

Shit Happens

The transfer to the airport was at 5pm so there was time to visit the V&A Waterfront for a quick wander.  I got the free airport shuttle to the waterfront and was trying to find the Diamond Museum but in the meantime ended up talking to a lone luscious Lebanese lady sitting on the steps, who turned out to be an Emirates airhostess.  After a couple of minutes, from above and behind me came a spray of liquids and solids which hit my shirt, my head and the back of my neck.  The Lebanese girl also had the stuff on the front of her shirt.  We were both taken aback and I wondered who had thrown stuff at us.  I looked at my shirt and noticed bird shit.  I managed to get some tissue paper from my pocket and wipe the shit off my head and neck and my shirt.  I also gave some to the girl to remove the filth from her shirt.  So, a rather shitty ending to my chat-up.

Back to the Airport

I saw the Diamond Museum and rushed back to the hotel, only to have to wait an extra hour for the transfer to the airport.  It was all chaotic as usual and back at the airport the line at the check-in desk was moving as fast as a tortoise.  I was rushing again to make it to my boarding gate when at passport control, an elderly woman in front of me forgot that she was at passport control and was just standing in front of the immigration woman.  The immigration lady had to repeatedly ask her to produce her passport but the lady kept saying that she wanted to board the plane.  Finally she was persuaded to get her passport out which she did at a slow-motion pace.  Then when she had her passport handed back to her, she just stood there without moving.  The officer asked her to proceed, but the woman said that she wanted her gate.  I was getting rather concerned about missing my flight at this stage.  Eventually I just handed my passport to the immigration women while the elderly woman was still standing there next to me.  Quite a bizarre situation which I have never been in before.  I made it to the plane.  Phew !!

On the plane it was quite surreal.  I knew half of the people on there and everyone kept saying hello.  It is not often that you get on a flight and know half of the people already.  I am not going to fly Virgin any longer.  They used to be good but have gone downhill.  The airplane staff are unprofessional and have attitude, and the ground staff didn't handle the situation very well when the flight was cancelled.

Victoria Falls - Zimbabwe

Border Crossing

The crossing to Zimbabwe from Zambia is across a bridge which separates the two countries.  Half of the bridge is on the Zambia side and the rest on the Zimbabwe side.  The immigration for Zambia is right before the bridge and the Zimbabwe immigration is around a kilometer from the bridge.

Bag Thief

I was at the Zambia immigration and had one of my bags on the ground near my feet, when an opportunistic thief grabbed it and ran outside.  I gave chase and caught up with him.  My bag had a bag of crisps and a water bottle in it.  Another guy's bag that the thief grabbed had his mobile phone it in.  He also went running after the thief.  He managed to get his phone because it went flying on the ground.  I was able to get my water bottle back but my crisps packet was being eaten up by the thief.  I wanted to kick the baboons pink arse for his audacity, but decided not to.

Zimbabwe Immigration

The visa fee for a British national to enter Zimbabwe is US $55.  I tried to haggle with them but they were not as accommodating as the Zambians and it got to the point where I was concerned that they would even refuse me entry if I carried on.  So, I paid the money and got through.  I had to pay US $30 at the park entrance to the falls but I persuaded the official there to let me pay as a South African citizen, which was US $20.

Victoria Falls - Zimbabwe

I personally think that the falls on this side are better than the Zambian side.  The ferocity of the water is much more and the visibility is better as well.  The trails are much prettier and the vegetation is much nicer.  There is also the statue of David Livingstone in the Vic Falls park.  The view of Livingstone Island is also much better from there as it is directly opposite the Victoria Falls park.  There is a place called Danger Point which on a clear day is a spectacular place to stand because it is right in the middle of the falls so quite a dramatic place to be standing.  The sound of the water and the panorama is quite overwhelming and to some extent unnerving.

Victoria Falls Town

When the park closed at 6pm, I went to Victoria Falls Town which is a couple of kilometers away.  It was very quiet and hardly any tourists around.  The restaurants were all empty.  The few locals that I met were all very kind and friendly.  I engaged some of them in conversations and got the impression that life was quite hard for them, and they had a real fear for the current regime and Robert Mugabe, who had just celebrated his birthday a few days earlier and had spent well in excess of US $1 million on it.

Crossing the Border at Night - Undercover Policeman

I was eating a delicious local food which is made of maize and a vegetable called Rape, as well as some chicken.  You eat it by hand and it is just divine.  After the meal, the father of the restaurant owner, a White Zimbabwean man who had emigrated to Australia with his wife but was visiting his daughter, gave me a lift to the border because it was nearing 10pm when the border would close.  I was concerned about not making it on time.  At the Zimbabwean side, one of the officials decided to have a lengthy conversation with me about the world economy and politics and I was trying to politely get away so that I could make it to Zambia before they closed the border.  After a few attempts, I finally bade farewell to him and got into a taxi that took me to the Zambia border for US $2.  The driver eventually told me that he was an undercover policeman and that he was using the taxi as a means to carry out surveillance on some smugglers who were at that very moment smuggling some goods across the border from Zambia into Zimbabwe.  I managed to get through to Zambia in time and catch a shared taxi back to Livingstone.

Victoria Falls - Zambia

 My flights

I flew with a low cost airline in South Africa called Kulula very early in the morning from Cape Town airport.  I had checked myself into the nearest hotel to the airport called Road Lodge, at GBP 40 per night.  It was literally a 10 minute walk to the terminal building.  My flight was to Johannesburg where I got a connecting flight with British Airways (code sharing with Kulula) to Livingstone, Zambia.  Johannesburg airport is very modern and large with lots of shops and good restaurants.  They play popular music  over the speaker system in the airport.  Any louder and it would be like a massive disco.

Livingstone Airport, Zambia

The British Airways flight took an hour and 45 minutes to reach Livingstone.  Just before landing, we flew past Victoria Falls and could see a massive plume of smoke (water vapour) rising into the air from the massive Victoria Falls.  It is a sight that I have never seen before in my life.  Zambia from the air looked quite green, covered with low bushes.  The sky was a deep blue and the clouds were ivory white and very high up in the sky, not like the clouds over England which are low and dense.

The airport was tiny, and the heat hit me hard when I walked down the steps of the plane to the airport terminal, which was a small building with a couple of shops and a restaurant.

Zambian Immigration

I had prepared myself for purchasing a double-entry visa by coming with US Dollars.  That is the only currency that they accept for getting Visas.  A single entry visa is US $50 and a double-entry visa is US $80. I needed a double because I was planning on visiting Zimbabwe for the day to visit the falls from the other side.  There were 3 lines for immigration, a line for diplomats, a line for non-payers of visas, meant for South Africans and some other nations that are exempt from paying, and then the line for paying for visas.  I initially stood in the long line for purchasing a visa but then decided that I was going to take my chances and stood in the short visa-exempt line.  The official told me to pay US $80 for my visa but I managed to use my Persian haggling skills and got him to provide me with a double-entry visa for only US $50, saving myself US $30. As the saying goes, a penny saved is a penny earned.

Accommodation

I got picked up at the airport by the driver of a hostel called Jollyboys.  I had booked a couple of nights in one of their dorm rooms.  The ride was only about 10 minutes.  I was met at the hostel by the owner, Kim, a Canadian woman from Vancouver Island.  She was rather grumpy, cold, and patronising, and I felt quite uncomfortable there so just decided to stay for one night and find another place to stay.  After leaving my bags there, I wandered the streets of Livingstone to find an information office to enquire about rooms.  I noticed a European girl walking around and being hassled by the locals.  I caught up with her and it turned out that she was an English girl doing volunteer work around Africa.  She took me to a place where she was renting a room and I liked the look of another room so reserved it for the following night.  I ended up staying there for the rest of my stay in Livingstone.  It was called Comfort Corner Guest House and owned by a pleasant chap called Joseph.  Of course, I haggled with him as well and got the rate of the air-conditioned ensuite room down to US $30 per night plus free continental breakfast.

Livingstone

This town has a population of less than 100,000 people.  It is rather worn-out with buildings that are in need of a facelift and roads that are part asphalt and part dirt and pot-holes and bumps everywhere.  There isn't a downtown area specifically, just a main road that has banks, supermarkets and eateries.  You can also find people, especially women, cooking and selling food on the side of the road, for example, sweet potatoes, and corn on the cob.  I had to remonstrate with a mother to exercise caution, because her infant child was very close the the boiling oil pot which was cooking the sweet potatoes.

The local food there is called Nshema and it is delicious.  It is a dough made from maize.  Accompanying it is a vegetable called Rape, which is a bit like green boiled cabbage.  You can have chicken or beef with it and their juices.  You eat it by hand by mopping it up with the maize dough that you mould into a scoop.  A nice local restaurant off the main street in Livingstone worth visiting is called Aunty Nancy, which is behind the post office.  It is very popular with the locals.  A plate of Nshema will cost you Kwacha 12,000 or just over US $2.  The touristy restaurants will cost 5 times that amount and you won't get food as tasty as that.

Judging from talking to locals, reading the newspapers, and watching the television, Zambia appears to have a very strong Christian culture.  Around 10 days ago, the UN Secretary-General, Ban Ki-Moon visited Zambia and said that there should be acceptance of homosexuality and same sex co-habitation.  There was a massive outcry over his statements with article after article in the papers and letters from people rejecting his views, stating that they are anti-Christian and against the laws of Zambia.  The front page of a major daily even listed the 10 Commandments.  At the same time, Zambia suffers from an HIV epidemic.

Victoria Falls or the local name Mosi-oa-Tunya (The Smoke Which Thunders)

I took a shared taxi from the taxi rank opposite the old Shoprite supemarket in Livingstone to Victoria Falls for 6000 Kwacha.   5000 Kwacha is US $1.  All the taxis are blue in colour and the drivers are all very nice and helpful.  The ride to the entrance of the falls took around 7 minutes along a straight road out of town.

At the entrance, the fee was US $20 but I negotiated it for US $10 and got in.  The roar of the falls could be heard before entering the grounds.  Walking the trail to the falls took me past lots of trees and bushes, and there were baboons running around everywhere.  The sight of the falls was amazing.  Seeing the millions of gallons of water falling over the edge per second and the massive amounts of water vapour rising up and the thunderous noise everywhere was quite moving.  I was so happy that I had been able to see the 4th and last of the major waterfalls of the Earth, the other 3 being Niagara, Angel, and Iguacu.

Victoria Falls is at 70% water capacity this time of year but it has a lot of water vapour which can seriously hinder your view of the falls.  In April/May it is at 100% capacity but it is virtually impossible to see the falls.  They say that the  best time to see the falls is in July/August when it is around 50% capacity but the visibility is very good.  So there is a trade-off between the amount of water and the visibility.  In October/November, the falls are all but dry.  You seriously ought to take a waterproof bag to put all of your valuables in because unless  you go between July and November, you are going to get completely soaked from head to toe.

At the falls, I met a very interesting guy called Johann from Germany, who had left his country and just shown up in Brazil, not knowing anyone.  He bought a piece of farm land in northern Brazil, and met a local girl and married her. They are expecting their first child soon.  Johann is the only person I have met who has also visited all 4 major waterfalls in the world.  We hung out quite a bit after that.

Excursions - Crazy Prices

There are loads of activities to do whilst in Livingstone and they are organised by every accommodation that you stay at.  But the prices are ridiculous.  For example, a 15 minute microlight flight will cost you US $140 and a helicopter flight for the same duration will cost you around US $200 or more.  Every other tour will cost you at least US $120 - 140 each.  So you will be spending a lot of money if you go for these.  I only did one excursion which was the Jet Extreme experience.  The owner, Tony, will pick you up and drive you 40 minutes to a gorge down the Zambezi river where you will go down the gorge in a cable car and then have a 30 minute jet boat ride up and down the river.  He does rapid spins which are between 5-7 G-force.  It goes very fast through the rapids and you get soaking wet.  I was ready to throw up by the end of it.  The highlight of the trip was driving through the beautiful countryside past the traditional villages inhabited by the Tokaleya people who live very simple and removed lives and live off the earth.